A Thousand Different Roses
by Mala-Inactive
Summary: A collection of somewhat experimental Utena one-shots. Expect odd scenarios and strange writing styles.
1. Chapter 1: Lingering Touch

Title: Lingering Touch

Characters: Mostly Utena and Anthy, but Nanami is mentioned briefly

Word Count: 200

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Even something insignificant can become a powerful symbol.

A/N: I'm probably the only person who wonders how Utena and Anthy will go about buying a couch.

When buying a couch for their living room, Utena and Anthy come to a silent agreement. It must be dark. Not white (never white), cream, beige, tan, or any other shade closer to white than black. The couch must be dark. They choose one that's a nice, coffee brown, even though it doesn't match the style of the room at all. Sometimes, a houseguest (who has never seen Ohtori) will ask. Utena shivers. Anthy gives her a knowing smile. Together, they craft a white lie.

(Nanami visited once. She, normally quick to point out such inconsistencies, gave her silent approval.)

They've had sex in numerous places. In their bed, in Anthy's garden (cleaning the dirt, grass, and flower petals out each other's hair had been half the fun), in Utena's car, and in some strange places. So when they forget themselves in passionate kisses and high-pitched giggles, the couch seems like a perfectly normal place to do it. They can't get their clothes off fast enough. But then, half undressed with their limbs entwined together, they remember. They can't get their clothes back on fast enough.

(But it's Utena who cries the hardest, the swords a whetstone to her memories.)


	2. Chapter 2: Limiter Removal

Title: Limiter Removal  
Characters: Guess.  
Word Count: 320  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Someone who should know better buys a certain '57 Corvette Roadster.  
A/N: This one-shot only came about because I wanted to write the third paragraph yet somehow make it believable.

She enters the used car lot, excitement running through her veins. The purchase will be her first car bought with her own hard-earned money. Most of the cars are broken-down, old things - only good enough for the desperate. She almost leaves. But then she feels something—that nameless feeling that she has always longed for—coming from the corner of the lot. There awaits a nearly new, red, 1957 Corvette Roadster. She doesn't question it (or the sensation of déjà-vu tickling the back of her mind). Why would she question it? She has experienced stranger things without batting an eyelash.

After a month, she wants to do reckless things. She wants to speed. She wants to party. She wants to bed that handsome man with a wedding ring. Mostly, she ignores these wrong, immoral desires. Except, when she speeds, when she parties, when she tempts a married man, that nameless feeling begins to fill her.

She'll kill herself, she thinks as she drives down the empty road at ninety miles per hour. She'll die a painful death. She'll crash and burn. Yet she tries to do the flip anyway. She slides out of her seat, her muscles tense, she springs into the air and...roars with deep, dark laughter when she realizes that, no, despite her fear and doubt, she isn't dead. How can she possibly be dead when that nameless feeling fills her very being? when that nameless feeling finally drenches her soul? when she feels truly alive for the first time in her life?

The next day, she _does _crash and burn (metaphorically; the car's unscathed). Instead of that nameless feeling, she receives a memory. How she forgot it, she doesn't know. It'll take her months to get such a horrible image out of her mind. And car's back in that corner of the dealer's lot within the week.

Now, the mere thought of feeling special makes Wakaba cringe.


	3. Chapter 3: Black Rose

Title: Black Rose  
Characters: Guess~  
Word Count: 270  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: "I've always hated roses...so I suppose it's ironic that my mom sent me to Ohtori."  
Author's Notes: It should be easy to recognize who this character is, unless I've butchered her character really badly.

I've always hated roses, even before the shit hit the fan at Ohtori. It's really ironic, actually. I mean, my mom loves roses. She's always in her rose garden. Weeding it. Watering it. Tending to it all the time. I remember when she took up gardening, when she bought her first rosebush. It was this special one with bright orange petals. I took one look, and hated it. I knew, even at four years old, that she would care for that rosebush and love that rosebush more than she loved me.

My mom bought five more rosebushes that year. Only the one with bright orange petals survived the New Year's frost. Or maybe it didn't. Because when spring came around, the blooms were deep, near black, purple. My mom was amused. I wasn't. Even at four years old, I understood the meaning of the black rose.

My parents went to Ohtori when they were young. My mom's always reminiscing about the rose garden. How she and my dad shared kisses there. How the gardener grew these spectacular roses. So it's no surprise that my mom sent me there. I vowed never to enter the garden. But I'm not very good at keeping promises, am I?

There are a few gaps in my memory from my time at Ohtori; I never want to find out what happened in the gaps. But I know roses were involved because a sickening feeling enters my chest whenever I try to think about it. Especially the time marred with black roses. Because do you know what a black rose means?

_"You belong to me forever."_


	4. Chapter 4: Good Night, Good Morning

Title: Good Night Himemiya, Good Morning Utena  
Characters: Utena, Anthy; Akio is mentioned  
Word Count: 364  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Before Anthy leaves Ohtori, she regains her heart. Before Anthy finds Utena, Utena waits.  
A/N: This one-shot takes place in the weird space after the final duel, but before Anthy leaves. On a completely unrelated note, it was inspired by the title of the play "Good Night Desdemona, Good Morning Juliet." It's a great play, even if it has nothing to do with this one-shot.

She tries to do her Saturday night routine as always. Pretend that nothing happened at all. She's done it before and she can do it again and again. She doesn't mind. She doesn't mind because she doesn't have heart. She had locked it away, once upon a time, but then it fell and turned into a shattered mess that doesn't even resemble a heart anymore. Or so she hopes.

For the first time during their Saturday night routine, she _feels_. She feels the sudden and passionate urge to throw Akio (that dirty bastard!) through one of the observatory windows and watch as he falls to a painful, bloody—oh dear. Her heart didn't shatter as she'd hoped. No, it returned to her as strong as ever. Stronger, even. Before she can act on such ridiculous impulses, she shoves her heart into a dark, faraway place and refuses to acknowledge it.

Maybe, one day, she'll acknowledge her heart. Maybe, one day, she'll have the courage to leave. Maybe, one day, she'll find her. Maybe, one day, she'll fall asleep to a sweet voice saying "Good night, Himemiya."

But not now.

* * *

Pain. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Mental pain. A million swords of pain. Pain that transcends words. Had Himemiya felt this pain day in and day out? And somehow she managed to smile that vacant smile of hers. Or did she smile _because_ she was in pain? What hurts more, the real pain or the pain of absurdity?

Man or woman, it doesn't matter. Anyone who believes in princes is a fool. Because there never was a prince and there will never be a prince. Ever.

But those aren't her words. And who is she? She's not a bride, or a prince, or the ends of the world and she certainly isn't Tenjou Utena. Or maybe she is but the pain is splintering her soul into a million pieces (a million more swords).

She wants to end. To end the pain, the dark thoughts, the memories. But she can wait. She can wait and wait and wait until she wakes up from this pain to a sweet voice saying "Good morning, Utena."

But now, she waits.


	5. Chapter 5: Before the Prince

Before I begin, I just want to give a quick thanks for everyone that's reviewed. I appreciate it a lot. In fact, I sorta forgot about this little collection until I saw a review pop up in my inbox this afternoon.

Title: Before the Prince  
Characters: Utena  
Word Count: 100  
Rating: PG  
Summary: The thoughts of a young Utena while she lies in her coffin.  
A/N: I reread As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner recently. I wanted to try out that style in a drabble, though I don't think it worked that well.

My parents are dead. That's what the man in black said. Dead. Dead like Mama's roses. She told me roses represent love and love lasts for all eternity but how can that be? The roses. My parents. Eternity. _They're all dead!_ My parents and the roses are in the coffins. There's a third coffin. Maybe it's mine. Maybe if I crawl into it, I'll die too. The roses died, once upon a time; my parents died, earlier; I'm going to die here, later; and those boys are going to die somewhere, tomorrow. Eternity's a lie. So is happily ever after.


End file.
